Smooth Compute
Virtual servers that stay calm under pressure. When traffic spikes, they talk their way through it.
1–64 vCPU · up to 256 GB RAM · 100% swagger
Services
Everything runs smoother up here
Four products, one mustache, and a platform floating comfortably above the rest of the internet.
Cape Storage
Object storage that flows behind you wherever you go. Versioned, replicated, and lined in gold.
11 nines of durability · 1 nine of humility
Staging Lounge
A preview environment for every branch, with a velvet rope and a lovely view of production.
Unlimited branches · complimentary mocktails
Rando-as-a-Service
Test users on demand. Rando signs up, fills in, opts in, and never complains about your onboarding flow.
1 Rando · ∞ signups · 0 unsubscribes
Our mission
To make the cloud less of a gamble: smooth, honest hosting that gives every app, every test, and every random stranger on the internet a reliable place to land.
Status
How the skies look right now
All regions smooth. Mostly.
Uptime this year: 99.9% (rounded generously)
| Region | Status | Notes |
|---|---|---|
cumulus-east-1 | Smooth | Fluffy, as usual |
stratus-west-2 | Smooth | Flat and dependable |
nimbus-central-1 | Smooth | Light drizzle in the logs |
cirrus-north-1 | Wispy | Thin, but holding |
cumulonimbus-south-1 | Stormy | On purpose. Book it for chaos testing |
fog-local-0 | Unknown | Can't see a thing. Assume it's fine |
Last incident: 1970-01-01 00:00 UTC. Someone tried to alter the deal. We didn't let them.
Plans
Pick your deal
Simple pricing, smooth terms, and a promise we take seriously: we never alter the deal.
The Rando
For testing
$0/ month
- One test persona, ready to go
- Signs up for anything
- Never opens your emails
- Born on the Unix epoch
The Smooth Operator
For staging
$19/ month
- Three staging environments
- Daily backups to Cape Storage
- A status page that always says "smooth"
- One complimentary cape
The Baron
For enterprises in the clouds
Let's talk
- Your own floating platform
- A custom SLA, never altered
- A personal mustache concierge
- Sunsets on request
Every plan is imaginary and nothing here is for sale. Here's the real story.
Founder & Baron Administrator
Meet Rando
Rando Calrissian is the internet's most trusted stranger. Nobody remembers inviting them, yet there they are: in every comment section, every newsletter signup, and every staging database you've ever seeded.
A gambler, a smooth talker, and a part-time sysadmin, Rando won their first server rack in a late-night card game and has been running the cloud ever since. They own a cape for every occasion and have never once used a real email address.
Borrow Rando
Rando is happy to be your test user too. These are reserved test values, so nothing reaches a real person.
- Name
- Rando Calrissian
- rando@example.com
- Phone
- +1 202-555-0142
- Website
- https://randocloud.example
- Address
- 404 Cumulus Plaza, Suite 1970, Nimbus, CO 80000
- Birthday
- 1970-01-01
- Username
- rando
Testimonials
Word on the cloud
"Rando signed up four thousand times and never once unsubscribed."
"I've never met them, but they're in every one of my tables."
"The smoothest test user I've ever validated."